Critics, Critics EVERYWHERE!

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they are unable to do it themselves."~~B. Behan

We like that quote, don't we? Gives us a giggle and makes it (somewhat?) easier to ignore critics. But...

Should we?

Well, yes. 

And, no. Let me 'splain.

There seems to be two camps in writer-land. Either people say they never listen to their critics and critics are just failed writers anyway, so who gives a hoot? Or they are of the 'one hint of criticism and I shall shut myself from the world and die a lonesome painful death and never write again' mindset. Like most extremes, both are kind of lame.

Not everyone is going to love your stuff. Yes, some people hate just to hate, but, heads up, Pollyanna- that doesn't mean some of what they say ain't true. And some will SAY they love it, 'cause they love you, but that isn't helpful either. Personally, I don't mind constructive criticism, but I also think you should take it with a grain of salt. Don't change your writing based on every review for goddsakes, but don't ignore it if everyone and their second cousin are telling you your dialogue sounds sounds more canned than an '80s sitcom laugh track.

Now about GETTING critics, 'cause baby, you need critics, because you NEED reviews. 

The more of ^^those you get^^, the more you will sell, that is just the cold hard truth. But for newbie, self-pub writers reviews can be....shall we say...hard to come by????? 

But it is NOT impossible. You just have to work it a little. First off, friends and family, friends and family are good. We love them and they love us(most of the time, right?!) But to be honest, people can spot BS pretty quick. So no gushing, lovey-lovey goofage. If they offer, wonderful. Certainly asking is fine, hey, we are all a little desperate here. But if you go that way, choose a reasonably honest friend/family member who will give a review some thought and care. 

Hopefully, you already have a couple of friends/aquaintances/coworkers who have read your stuff and liked it. This is good, because hard-core readers can spot hard-core reader's review a mile off(that's one of my peeps!) So these are awesome first reviews. 

Other options, the ARC. Here's another acronym, Grasshopper, learn it well, you will see it EVERYWHERE! Most commonly this is Advanced Review Copy. I have also heard it called Advanced Reading Copy, Author Review Copy, yada yada. Bascially, you give someone your book for free and they agree to review it, honestly. 

   First off, the mechanics. How do you give away an e-book copy? Well, there are formatting sites that will convert your ready-to-upload to KDP Word doc into a .mobi or other ereader friendly file and you can send that to said-interested-party. You can also, if your book is already in KDP, gift a copy. (the royalities go back to you anyway, so your out-of-pocket is minimal).

  Now the REAL kicker---how do you find these hungry reviewers? Ahhh--that is the question. First off, genre is going to play a HUGE role in this. If you write bodice-ripping romance novels, you are obviously going to find a lot more fish out there than say someone who writes about building cement walls(do people write about building cement walls? IDK, I am tired and that is the best obscure thing I could think of, okay?!?)

  Try various sites, WLC though I haven't been overly successful with that. And I also mentioned STORY CARTEL before, they are a pay site, you buy credits and that earns you the right to request reviews within the community. I believe you can also earn credits by reviewing yourself.

Which brings me to another option on a host of writing/reading websites, and YES, here it comes, yet another acronym. R2R. This is Read to Review. You just basically beg someone to read your book and review, sometimes offering a free copy, sometimes not. There are also R2R exchanges(I read your book, you read mine, we both review). That, IMO, is a little dicey. I am doing this with one person at the mo, but she approached me and I looked up her book and it's actually sounded interesting to me, so I was okay with it. Plus, we are in very different genres, which I view as a good thing. No one can be nastier than a competitor. I haven't started her book yet, nor her mine(I agreed to start this coming week, as I am just a WEE bit bogged down lately) But we will see how it goes. 

I also participated recently in a pay it forward R2R. This one was a little more unusual and interesting. I belong to several groups on  goodreads and one of them proposed that since it is a group of mostly self-published writers, everyone would throw their books into the mix, you could pick two or three that appealed to you and promise to read and review. Everyone would do this, and hopefully that meant everyone would get read at least once. Its a fairly good idea and I have 1 amazing find *GREAT YA urban fantasy novel, if you are interested* to show for it, and also the one I am currently on has been a treat so far, but not done yet-- and a couple reviews for myself and a couple more coming. But...

Oh but.

I had one loverly person buy my book(the agreement was we all bought the books, though mine was free during part of the challenge, and that was no biggie, IMO), but they bought it....then returned it when they were done. Sweet, huh? Personalities and general snippiness or drama can be a drag.

And another thing, is you may find yourself reading some...well, seriously BAD writing. Honestly, nothing I have read so far has been without some merit, other than some really cringe-worthy dialogue. But some of it was not good. Guess what, though? 

Some people may feel the same way about YOUR stuff. (gulp!)

So my advice is be honest, but kind if you go this route. Personally, I like to go for the 'shit sandwhich'. Write what you liked best, tuck your worst criticisms in the middle(and keep them constructive: eg,  'dialogue needs work', 'characters felt wooden', 'paragraphs ran on and on', etc.) I also don't post the rating on Amazon if it is particularly 'constructive'. Then end with the main reason you liked it---even if you have to dig deep.

I haven't had one that was awful yet, but if I did, I would advise a private message to the person advising of your opinion, no hard feelings, and if they want you to go ahead and post it fine, if they decline, so be it. Also if you really loved it, feel free to say that, too. Sometimes, there just is nothing bad to say, so don't dig for it. 

Mull it over and choose wisely. Also, be advised you may not be happy about some of the opinions you get. It's up to you to decide if they have merit or not. If you plan on doing this for any length of time in the real world, critics are not going to go away. If anything, the more you step away from your inner circle and farther and farther into the real world and allowing total strangers who have absolutely NO concern about your feelings to read your babies, the more they may get stomped on. If you feel anything like me about some of your characters, that is going to bring out the mama bear in you. DON'T EAT THE CRITICS, even if they are crunchy and good with ketchup! ;)

And sorry, but we will have to save the #1 secret thing I actually would spend $$ on--if I had it, in self-publishing, for next time.

You all are special to me, but I do need some sleep! :D

Happy writing!